This weekend I was talking with another blogger friend, Organic Sister. She and her husband and 10 year old son live a life of unschooling, traveling the country in a vintage Winnebago, looking for a place to lay down roots but also having a great time in the pursuit. While I can’t imagine only having one child, or living out of a Winnebago or traveling the country I found some unique similarities in our philosophy on life and I found myself drawn to the concept of unschooling (though I am not sure it will look the same for a family of multiple aged children). Anyway I called her because I needed help. I found myself getting more and more short tempered of late and I knew the atmosphere in the home was being affected.

Help Tara!

We went over the specifics of our schedule and daily life in the Doeun home and I realized (upon further reflection) that I was still adding things to our already jammed schedule trying to “do everything.” Tara gently reminded me that I just can’t “do everything,” some things have to give. I was familiar with the concept in the area of housekeeping. New mothers are often given the advice not to worry so much about cluttered tables and dirty dishes but in our case there was more going on.

I was trying to live the ideal (of mine) of no or little TV for my young children. That is now out the window. Granted they work and play hard in the morning out of doors and the girls at least often play all evening I knew I needed to allow some electronic entertainment into my home to buy me the peace and relaxation that I needed. I even upgraded our cable to include a variety of age apropriate channels so now at least I feel better about what they are watching (Hannah, Zack and Cody will have to wait until they are older).

Naps are now out. We do lie down and rest for about 1/2 hour after taking Proeun to work while we listen to a lullaby CD and Mavis gets a nap on the way home from the farm normally. Then I let the children get up to enjoy some electronic media and I take a solo nap or relax.

Dinners are sometimes boxed macaroni and cheese, though I do try to add at least carrot sticks and ranch dressing.

And Proeun I am sorry there may not be alot of pickles or canned tomatoes this year.

But finding the balance for our family is what it is all about–enjoying the children on a daily basis and making sure everyone feels important and nurtured, not an easy task to tackle.

So in the realm of the blog I am trying to stick with Monday, Wednesday and Friday posts with an occasionally Sunday thrown in. It is just one of those things I have to manage and balance.

Call it nesting, good planning, good housekeeping or just being fed up I am up for some big changes in our home. When we first moved into our home the home inspector recommended to us that any improvements that we wanted to make we should do before you move in because once you move in it gets harder and harder to get things done. Well we had no additional money to make improvements and our first baby coming soon–sooner then we thought. We moved in on Sunday and he was born on Tuesday at 35 weeks.

Anyway long story short we just cleaned a bit and moved in. No painting even.  Over the years we have made some small improvements like removing the nasty carpet to reveal the beautiful, original wood floors and some small changes to furniture. But I really would like to beautify a bit (a lot) more. So last night I begged my husband to take me to Ikea. I haven’t been then for around 2 years, but now I was ready to make some changes.

We had gone on-line and found a bed we liked for the children, metal bunkbed with a single bed up and double down. But unfortunately they didn’t have it in the store. I guess I will just have to go for another trip in a week or so. But we did get a step stool for the kitchen, an art easel (something Proeun has been wanting for a very long time) for the children, a set of stainless steel pots, a new children’s potty, placemates for the table and shelving for the children’s room.

So my current projects are culling, organizing and beautifying the children’s room and dining room. I am trying not to spend too much money at once and will supplement my Ikea finds, with things I already have and thrift store finds. For example I couldn’t find any good cloth tableclothes at Ikea, luckily I had some and realized when I got home the table from my grandmother we have is so beautiful underneath the protective pad maybe I won’t use a cloth at all, we’ll see.

Sunday Proeun took the children to the farm and I went through toys and clothes trying to get the overflowing room under control. Today I am planning to continue cleaning and hopefully it will stay nice until we are able to get the new bed and set things up.

Still on my to-do list in organizing the big bedroom yet again, living room and basement workroom. The porch still looks beautiful.

Here is one of the first pictures of Baby Girl Doeun. We had decided this time around that we would have an ultrasound done. Two is still waiting for his baby brother and we wanted to know before the joyous event what to expect since last time he was a little disappointed and confused. We were still a little disappointed and confused as we had an ultrasound done at 17 weeks and it looked like a boy. But we thought it best to follow-up and surprise, it’s a girl.

Two handled it OK saying he loves baby girls (he will have a lot of experience with them). But Avril was in tears saying, “I wanted it to be a baby boy.” By the time we left though she was OK. Her baby doll has changed back to a girl (it was a boy for awhile). But I noticed her imaginary family has returned and there is a baby brother in that family.

Now we have to come up with a girl’s name. I don’t know why but these names are always the hardest for us. We have 3 boy’s names waiting to be used. Oh well, I am trying to tell myself God gives us what we need at the time. Apparently that is another girl.

I am going to be lazy today and not attach any pictures, this will also save me some embarrassment since my topic today is cleaning. I tend naturally to be a clean and tidy person but I have also always tended to have a lot of stuff like a stack of books on the floor by my bed and an overflowing desk (this was in my teenage years when I had time to read a stack of books). When we first moved into our 900 square foot house I was all about the whole “not so big house” movement and I loved the closeness of all of us within earshot of each other all the time. However now with the 4th baby coming it is time to cull again. . . and dream about a 3rd bedroom. With 2 boys (the baby is supposedly a boy) and 2 girls it would be perfect right?

Anyway we won’t be adding on another bedroom anytime soon but it is time to cull. A trip to the thrift store–to drop off items–is scheduled for Wednesday. Until then we are working on culling and cleaning. Mondays we stay home from the farm and today’s task was to tackle the porch, which always seems to become the catch all of the house. Now I am breathing a huge sigh of relief. It makes such a difference if when you walk in your home you aren’t greeted with a mess.

I went through all our books yesterday taking out all the ones I wouldn’t want the kids reading or ones with questionable topics (even among kids books). Tomorrow I am going to tackle the kids room–toys and clothes. I have never taken toys to the thrift store when they knew about it before but I feel they are of an age to know we can’t keep everything and sometimes we have to make hard decisions. Luckily the family has stopped buying them so many toys.

Wednesday I will work on “the big bedroom” and deliver the goods.

Next Sunday and Monday are slated for the living room and basement workroom, oh and I need to reorganize the freezer today. So much to do but I am simply giddy that it is finally getting done and Proeun is totally on board. In 2 weeks it will be the garage. I know it sounds silly planning so far out but we don’t have much time to do it so this is our lot.

Yes I am going to be corny enough to write a blog post in praise of my husband. A sort of “Ode to Proeun” though that would be really corny so we won’t call it that.

A few years ago I was talking to an old acquaintance. We were getting caught up on each other’s lives and I was sharing the vision Proeun and I had of moving to the country, living more self-sufficiently and simply and enjoying our growing family. She said, “Wow Amy you are so lucky that you met your soul mate.” While I do feel that Proeun is my soul mate, it’s not that easy, really, marriage is work and hasn’t always been smooth but luckily the rough patches have bonded us together in ways only tough times can.

Honestly when we married I still thought I wanted a suburban or urban home, a career in publishing, 2 children and plenty of time for plays, book readings, museum trips and book stores. Slowly my vision changed and now I am so happy it did. It’s been ages since I have been to a book reading or museum (other then the Children’s Museum). The only plays I have been to were for work and honestly I really didn’t “get” the last one. Oh and I have been reading the same book for about 2 months now. But I couldn’t be happier, though I could be better rested but that is a different story.

Anyway this blog is not about me it’s about him. I could never do this without him. He is the back bone of our farming operation–helping plan the fields and the successions, managing pests and weeds, doing the majority of the harvesting and all the lifting. In an effort not to strain my already stretched abdomenal muscles I call him over to help me whenever I come across and obstacle more then 20 pounds. This often means leaving his task to help. But he does it cheerfully and willingly every time. He even supports me in some of my more “quirky” (at least to the mainstream) ideas like spending the morning harvesting mullein and yarrow to make medicinal oil while he dutifully weeded.

Oh and did I mention that after he does this for about 3-4 hours in the morning he goes to drive a city bus for 8 hours before coming home and being a great dad and then staying up late with me talking about plans and dreams for the future. OK now you know a little bit about why we are so tired. We have been trying to go to bed earlier really.

Anyway supermen do exist. One time I was telling my dad how much I appreciated Proeun and he said, “I hope you tell him that.” I do every day but I wanted to be public in my admiration as well. As I said we have had to work at our marriage, it has been a humbling experience and one for growth but the feeling that we are in this together, we are each other’s best friends and soul mate and that we can accomplish anything is something every marriage can have.

It all began about 7 years ago. Proeun and I were newly married and at his insurance office near Snelling and St. Clair in St. Paul. My brand new sister in law was expecting her 3rd baby and I was trying to think of a good gift for her. Things were taking longer then expected at the insurance office (which has since moved) so I went out to look at some of the local shops and I wandered in to Peapod’s for the first time.

I had grown up with stories of cloth diapers, many were still around the house and used for rags by the time I was helping with the cleaning. My mom would always tell funny stories about  how she would use cloth diapers on me all the time but as soon as my dad watched me he would break out the disposables.

So 7 years ago I walked into Peapod’s and saw this,

Well almost, it’s been a couple years and they have new products all the time but you get the idea. I bought a dozen pre-folds and a little froggie bummis diaper cover for me sister in law. About a year later I had my own little baby to cloth diaper. Honestly my sister in law had never used hers so I tactfully asked for them back added to my stash and began.

Three babies now have grown up in cloth diapers. But while Two was a lighter wetter and more predictable in schedule Avril was a very heavy wetter and completely unpredictable. I tried elimination communication, I read about it from a book I got at Peapods, but went back to the diapers to save my sanity.

Recently I was reading a blog post from Farmama called “stuff.” In it she talks about the trash we generate and how her philosophy has always been if she wouldn’t want it in her backyard she shouldn’t use it as it will most likely end up in someone else’s. I thought about it and realized disposable diapers are definitely something I wouldn’t want in my backyard.

Here I will make a confession. I had been using disposables at night (to save my sheets), sometimes when traveling and often while camping. After reading this post I decided to lay down a new lease. Last time we went camping I brought my cloth diapers though we still used disposables at night.

So today I finally had a chance to go to Peapod’s and get some diapers for heavy wetters. I only bought a few to try.  I bought 2 Kissaluv’s fitted diapers, 1 Bummi’s training pants, and 1 Prorap snap cover.

The children were hoping for more.

It’s always a danger when going to Peapod’s.

There is so much to see and enjoy.

On a side note it was at Peapod’s that I discovered attachment parenting. I was there one day when Two was a baby buying more diapers and asked, “are there any support groups or anything around?” Kind of a clumsy question I know but the kindly shop owner who actually uses all this stuff on his own children reffered me to a local Attachment Parenting International group and the rest is history. Soon I was planning a home birth, knitting my own diaper covers, delaying solids till sometime around one and proudly co- sleeping (we had done this from the beginning anyway now we just weren’t afraid to tell people about it).

Peapod’s has definitely done alot for me and the family so if you are in the area please stop by at 251 Snelling Ave South, St. Paul, MN 55105 or call at 1 866 WOOD TOY.

Maybe I’ll see on an upcoming trip I am planning to buy more diapers for the baby.

Every July 4th weekend a local fur trade reenacting group holds a rendezvous on Dunlap Island in Cloquet, Minnesota. We just happen to go camping near Cloquet about once a month during the summer. And did I mention that my first job was as a “historical intrepretor” at Historic Fort Snelling, a part of the Minnesota Historical Society. While there I did my share of reenacting for fun on the weekends including one 1812 reenactment with my mother and sister. So a fur trade rendezvous is kind of up my alley.

I have a deep love of history for a lot of reasons but I love what it tells us about us. Fur Trade history is big in Minnesota and is everywhere.

No matter how you feel about furs and trapping I think most people would agree it is fascinating. Cultures collided for good or ill. Rugged beauty and wilderness, hand crafts and personal livelihoods supported high fashion back east.

Here Two is guessing which animals the furs came from. He was pretty good at it actually. The furs were donated by the Minnesota DNR.

Here Two sports a coyote hat.

Two handles baby mocassins. I always wanted to make a pair.

Avril is drawn to the beaded items.

I was reading a book that discussed Ancient Greek culture. The book claimed that during this time period a person was considered wealthy based upon talents and skills. Maybe that is what has always drawn me to the past. I love hand made items, there is a beauty in them few things can rival.

There were a few people even making things there like this blacksmith demonstrating his craft.

We bought a few things at his booth including a trade silver necklace for Two and hand blown glass beads strung into a necklace for the girls while we waited.

Of course hand made candy is the best. This gentleman owns a candy shop in Kentucky where he is a licensed confectioner but he travels 50 weeks out of the year to share his favorite treats from a simple tent.

There was even good music. All in all it was a pretty great trip back in time.

For those of you that don’t see me on a regular basis these past 4 days have been very interesting to say the least. I ended up with and intense stomach bug which lead to one symptom after another until it got to the beginning stages of a bladder infection. Not good as bladder infections can cause contractions. So I have now been commanded by my midwife to rest. That is exactly what I have been doing the past couple of days. Resting is not easy when there is so so much to be done but wonderful when it can get accomplished.

Proeun has been holding down the fort at the farm and home while I spent most of the past couple of days in bed. Now it is back to work for him and I am at least able to take care of myself and the children.

One good thing that this sickness has done was give me ample opportunity to try out some herbs. I have been drinking Raspberry and Nettle leaf tea for general health, unsweetened cranberry juice for the bladder infection, and using Witch Hazel, Comfrey and White Oak bark for my other ailment, those familiar with herbs can probably figure it out from that list.

I have contacted a couple herbalists in the area with plans to take classes with them and have begun my wish list for an herb garden

Borage
Comfrey
Lavender
Calendula
Catnip
Feverfew
Soapwort
Yarrow
Nettle
St. John’s Wort
Oatstraw
Hops

I have Susan Weeds book Herbs for the Child Bearing Year and am particularly interested in the section on “After Pains” another great time to rest. At least then I will be done with the season. If anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with after pains I would greatly appreciate it. With the last baby it was pretty intense, worse then labor I would say.

So tonight I am up and about a little bit more. My task for tonight was to restock my lagging supple of healthy convenience food, mostly granola and bread. On tonight’s menu is meatloaf and mashed potatoes and gravy. I am feeling a little light after my unintended starvation diet. I’ll write more later, I promise. Back to resting.

I really love having children. If this new baby is in fact a boy we will have two of each. Boys are definitely special, but being a mother it is really wonderful to see the mothering instincts come out in your little girls. The role of a father is no less important but I have no personal experience with that, though I definitely see Two playing/working to nurture his little sisters. They all love to play house and Mavis loves doing everything her big brother and sister do.

Avril has been very interested in babies lately. She has her favorite doll that she dresses and carries around the house. I even discovered she was using my stash of emergency disposable diapers on her baby and throwing them away when they got “dirty.” Last night she asked for me to make a baby carrier for her to carry her baby on her back. Not to be left out Mavis who is also very interested in dolls, went to grab a doll and scarf and I had two baby wearers walking around the house.

Oh they are definitely my girls.

The plants are almost all in the ground and weeds are for the moment under control. Now the next worry is the plants getting big enough for our first CSA boxes and when will it rain next. Even though there is always tons that can be done on the farm this long weekend we took a break to our favorite camping spot in the Northwoods. It will be a long time before this opportunity comes again so we felt it was important for a little R and R. Imagine my surprise at the wealth of discoveries we made on this camping trip!

The first was this deer skull. Avril took one look at it and said, “heh that’s a boy deer.” Two took a second look at it and said, “and it’s a young one.” I had no idea that they were processing this type of information from the nature stories and conversations at home.

Some of our discoveries were live. Everyone was so excited about the tadpoles. Last year we brought some home to watch them grow but when little frogs escaped in our house we decided it would be strictly catch and release from then on. Two even grabbed a water spider. We were thankful it didn’t appear poisonous.

Avril got friendly with her wild side. This is her first time actually holding a frog and once she did she didn’t want to let go. Luckily the frog escaped from her bucket when she wasn’t looking and she was glad it “went back to its family.”

Before he went back he had a ride though. Here is Hiro wondering where that frog went.

Here’s an old bird’s nest we found.

We had time to take a walk through the woods. We saw neon blue dragonflies (too fast and small for my camera), fiddle head ferns and all sorts of plants. I really want to familiarize myself with gathering wild food and this is the perfect place for it!

Here’s a tree stand Proeun’s brothers built.

My little adventurer. Never one to be left out.

This white stuff was all over the trees. I remember hearing somewhere it has something to do with caterpillars but I wasn’t sure if I heard right. If you know what this is please share.

It appears there may be moose in the area, or a really big deer.

We even had time for a trip to Duluth and the “sea” as Two puts it. It was almost 20 degrees different temperature wise and we were not prepared so unfortunately we couldn’t stay long.

All weekend long the children played well together and romped and explored the outdoors. I couldn’t help but feel that this is the way children are supposed to be and wishing we could have this all the time.