As my selection for Christmas I decided to take advantage of the Christmas sale at Vision Forum. I didn’t have as much money as I hoped to this year but I decided to go ahead and get a couple films. Our family really likes movies, though the preference is definitely different. I grew up watching the classic films of the 30s, 40s, and 50s. I felt modern films did not really compare to those classics–especially the comedies. Some of my favorites are “Bringing up Baby,” “Midnight,” “The Major and the Minor,” and “Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House.”

Proeun grew up with comic books, video games and action films. One of the hardest things about having children is putting away your desires and doing what is best for the children. I find this is especially difficult in the realm of entertainment. Films that we feel comfortable with the children watching are few and far between. Ones that we actually enjoy as well are even harder to come by. It has gotten to the point where I feel that even kids movies need to be previewed before the children see them. So many contain ideas and concepts I am not comfortable with, including probably the most common–divorce. But then once we preview the movie it is not as fun to watch it again with the kids.

However I felt reasonably safe with films from Vision Forum. My selections were “Mysterious Islands,” “Pendragon” and “Pilgrim’s Progress.”

“Pendragon” is the story of the Christian church in England in 411 AD. It is a great story with lots of sword fighting and adventure. Luckily we have some hobby horses, wooden swords and a small round table top that has become a shield. It’s great that Two is using his imagination and burning off energy. However we are all living in fear of that wooden sword.

Proeun did not like “Pilgrim’s Progress.” Though the costumes for the trolls and devils were by no means extreme they were there. I know Two has seen scarier stuff, like “Lord of the Rings,” but this for some reason seems scarier to Proeun. Maybe because of the subject matter–Heaven and hell, I don’t know. But I thought it was a pretty good rendering of the story line.

We have yet to watch “Mysterious Islands” about the Galapagos Islands. We are still looking for good family films. My husband is the most picky. Now his favorite is epics. But one thing we agree is that most mainstream films do not fit our families need.

Yesterday I had an epiphany. Early in the day I was reading, Parenting by the Spirit by Sally Hohnberger. This is my 2nd time reading through this excellent and eye opening book. When I found out my best friend was pregnant I recommended this book as the only parenting book you really need to read. Now she has 3 more books in the series, but anyway I digress.

I was reading how our actions speak much louder then our words, no surprise there, but one quote particularly struck me, “Often our actions speak so loudly that our children cannot hear our words.” I read that, tucked it away in my memory and preceeded with the day. We were doing our usual rushing around getting ready to take Proeun to work and I was yelling at the kids of the 4th time to get their shoes on. In the process I forgot to tape something Two had asked me to. When he discovered I forgot in the car he started telling me, “I hate you.” I try not to let it get to me and always reply, “well I love you.”

When we got home another conflict ensued, this time surrounding nap time. I was trying to get all 3 children ready for bed. Mavis was fussing and obviously ready, Avril kept coming up with excuses for not getting in bed and Two was bouncing off the walls and seemed to be forever in the way. Finally I lost it and yelled at him telling him, “You are always in the way, lie down,” and I made sure he did. He flopped his head back on the pillow and said, “See I told you you hate me!”

That was the moment. While he had told me he hated me, his actions have always been full of love. However I was telling him I loved him but projecting frustration and to him hate. Even though I could justify my frustration, I had to acknowledge there really is not justification for not being able to control our emotions.

Since then I have been trying to be careful. At bedtime the same conflict was beginning. But instead I put my hands over my face and started counting. The kids stopped immediately. I was a homeschool conference last April and on of the presenters was saying that she puts on a particular hat when she really needs and break and that Abigail Adams used to put her apron over her head to signal to her children that they needed to stop immediately. I explained to the children what that means and hopefully it will work. I’ll keep you posted.

With the birth of Michelle Duggar’s 19th baby it seems like everyone has an opinion of big families. While I don’t currently have a mentor I do have to say that I love the Duggar’s show. I have read their book and eagerly look forward to any updates on their family. Since the birth of our 3rd child Proeun and I have chosen to let the Lord bless us as He will as far as number of children. Family and friends alike have had difficulty conceiving and we have seen the heart break this all too common problem can cause.

When we married we had our plans, but the Lord gently adjusted us and our plans. Now we eagerly await the return of fertility and the possibility of baby number four.

When I was young I was surrounded by families with 2 children. To have 3 was considered a large family. I met one family with 4 children and that seemed really unusual and in my thinking of the time irresponsible. Yes I admit that I was one that totally bought in to the idea that the only responsible thing to do was just replace yourself. My parents had two children and wholeheartedly believed it.

When I was in college a new idea was presented to me, it wasn’t necessarily the number of children but amount of resources consumed by said children that was the problem for our planet. Children in the U.S. consume vast amounts of resources compared to a relatively small amount among children in other parts of the world. We have developed the idea that certain things are required to raise our children well, a TV in their own bedroom, a video game system, new clothes every year, sports activities, summer camps and private schools. All of these cost vast amounts of money and resources. Many families are never home and spend large amounts of time driving from place to place. They are literally home to sleep and that is about this. It is a base of operations that the family goes out from, not a center of family activity.

It takes guts to go against the flow. It takes guts to tell your family and friends that you are no longer “planning” your family. Luckily my mother and father are supportive as well as Proeun’s parents. But the siblings all think we are crazy. My sister says I am addicted to babies. I suppose that is it but it is also much more. I can’t imagine putting my choices on TV and get all the back lash from that. On a recent episodeof the Duggar’s TV show  they took viewer questions. One young woman could barely keep the disdain from rising in her voice as she asked about resources the family consumed. The Duggars didn’t bat a lash they just calmly explained how they made choices every day to consume less resources then they normally would. The Bates family which has been on the show frequently lived until just recently in a 1000 square foot house. They live without debt. They “buy used and save the difference,” and they actually live in a home, work in a home and go to school in a home, this alone will save resources.

I say bravo to the large family. When I had my 3rd child I knew we were on the way. Our midwife jokingly said that I would need one more child to have a large family, we are hoping soon.

It will be a white Christmas! Last night and this morning the snow has steadily been falling. Proeun works as a bus driver so he has no choice but to go out and brave the conditions. Only one county from us has a no travel advisory due to blowing snow. I am often reminded of how privileged I feel to have my life work revolve around the home and keeping the home. This day is one of the days that I am more thankful then others. I only had one appointment scheduled today and was able to easily change it. So the children and I have been snug inside.

All I need is a bunch of Christmas CDs and the mood is set.

While Proeun is still in the rat race so to speak we have visions of life on a farm where snow will be a welcome treat and invitation to exciting outdoor activities rather then a signal for a stressful commute. We got a book from the library last time we were there called A Christmas Like Helen’s in which the author, Natalie Kinsey-Warnock recounts life on her family farm when her grandmother, Helen, was a girl. Kinsey-Warnack still lives on her family’s land in Vermont.

The book recounts things like sledding and skating on the pond behind her house and taking care of the animals on the farm. It talks about a black and white tomcat that Helen dressed up like a baby. We have a black and white tom named Austin that is Avril’s cat. He sleeps with her and follows her around, I don’t know if he could handle a dress but I am sure a baby carriage would be OK with him.

The book goes on to talk about making maple syrup in the spring for Christmas breakfast. About growing potatoes and carrots in the summer and picking apples in the fall for Christmas dinner. You must know the land and love the land and work the land all year for a Christmas dinner like this. You also must know how to keep Christmas in your heart all year, how to help each other and love each and know each other all year.

I desperately want land to know and love and pass on to my children and maybe my grandchild will write about the grandmother that chose a different way of life and dreamed to pass it on. Helen had no choice, I have a choice and I chose a return to her way.

Our children are learning all the time, whether we realize it or not. This last week I discovered a friend of mine is dealing with a huge personal tragedy. In addidition to a messy divorce she is now dealing with major health problems. She has had diabetes since she was child. She has also struggled with appetite. About 2 months ago she delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy–her 3rd child and 2nd delivery in a year and half. Her first child is 6 years old and lives with her father in Florida.

This wonderful mother has been abadoned by her husband. in the midst of it all she is holding on to Jesus and trying to raise her children for the Lord. She is working on a healthy diet, natural healthcare and nurturing her children physically and spiritually. Now she is loosing her eyesight. She cannot see at all out of one eye and cannot see very well out of the 2nd. She cannot even read.

This morning at worship I shared a simplified version of her story with the children and asked them to help me pray for her. Two said, “Jesus can come and spit and make mud and put it on her eyes and tell her to go wash it off and when she does she will see.” I didn’t even realize that he had learned that story. Obviously he had and it struck a cord with him. I wonder what else he remembers.

A week ago Tuesday Mavis and Avril came down with a cold. It didn’t seem to affect them too much except that they would get stuffed up at night and get woken up when they couldn’t breathe. Unfortunately they didn’t wake up at the same time. Each of them was up 4-5 times during the night–which meant I was up 8-10 times. This happened for 2 nights. Then it was Thanksgiving. I thought about keeping the girls home but decided that would be too disappointed. So we went and had a great time.

Friday Two got sick with the flu and spent the evening throwing up. The next day he seemed greatly improved and I was hoping that illness was on it’s way out. Then Proeun got sick with aches and pains and general fatigue. We spent Saturday and Sunday in the home. Sunday Avril got the flu and spent the evening throwing up. The next day Proeun called in sick and Avril seemed greatly improved. Tuesday Proeun had requested off for an appointment in the afternoon. It was now our 4th day in the home and 7th of sickness.

Tuesday night I got the flu and spent the evening throwing up, the next day I was greatly improved. So now several illnesses have made their way through the family. We have had a good long time at home to recoup. I had gone to a parenting meeting once and there was a mother there who was a nurse. Another mother said to her, “I suppose when the kids get sick your husband makes you stay home since you are in the medical profession?” The other mom said something about sharing the duties. I thought about how grateful I am that I am home with my children every day–especially when they are sick. As an adult I still want my mommy when I am sick.

The Lord is gradually leading me towards the idea that service is the greatest duty and most rewarding aspect in life. When you think about the most fulfilled people you know I am sure you will see a steady diet of unselfish service. Though I am tired of being in the home and exhausted from being sick and frustrated that once again the TV has ruled to house, I am happy I could be here for my kids. When I got sick some of that service I gave them rubbed off as they showed genuine concern and helpfulness for their poor ailing mother.

As parents it is helpful to stay one step ahead of the kids. However I am discovering that already this is getting harder and harder. Already both Two and Avril have become adept at using their reasoning to argue their case. Two being older is a little more skilled a that. For example, we have been having problems with Two getting up early in the morning. This gets the animals all wild which generally wakes up the other 2 and the day begins. We have talked to Two about this and told him he can’t be getting up so early. So last night I had put the kids to bed and was working in the living room when Two reappears and says, “I think I know why I have been getting up so early–because I go to bed too early. I think I better stay up and watch a movie.”