Going to a restaurant with 3 children is always an adventure. Couple that with a wide range of tastes and a limited budget and we don’t end up going out to restaurants very much. It is actually pretty hard for me to get myself siked up to go out. It has to be a restaurant with food that I can’t cook at home and portions that will fill us up and a price that doesn’t break the bank. It has to have food that I would like with my veggie tastes and that Proeun would like and that each of the kids with their individual tastes would. Well you get the picture, not very much fits the bill.

On Friday I got an assignment for Hmong Times–a new restaurant opening. It was at a time when no baby sitters were available so the children went with. The owners are a Hmong couple who have a successful restaurant in Milwaukee. They left their daughter in charge of that restaurant, also called the Rice Palace.
 
Their new venture in the Hillcrest shopping mall on White Bear Ave caters more to Southeast Asian tastes. It focuses on home style cooking from Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam. It is an all you can eat buffet. I was so impressed at the opening that I decided I had to bring Proeun back. So yesterday we went back for a second time and he was really impressed as well. The dishes include Pad Thai, Larb, spring rolls, Southeast Asian style egg rolls, papaya salad, grilled ribs and tilapia, tri-color dessert, rolls with sweet bean filling, pho (beef noodle soup) and kao poon (curry soup). My favorite was the pho. Not only is it my favorite of the buffet but it is my favorite Pho.

Proeun’s favorite was the crayfish.

The hardest part was that the children don’t really get the concept of a buffet, i.e. to stuff yourself. They eat until they are comfortable then loose interest and we spend the rest of the time trying to get them to stay still while we continue to sample our favorites.

But anyway we now have a restaurant that makes all the family happy.

My primary goal is to be home with my children. But to accomplish that financially I work as a writer and farmer. I have been fortunate to have writing jobs that allow me to bring at least one of my children with me consistently. Since the time Two was born he has accompanied me to “stories” varying from Hmong New Year to neighborhood meetings with our town Mayor. When Avril came along I nursed her exclusively and decided to make it easy on everyone she would literally go everywhere with me until she weaned. We are following that same procedure with Mavis.

So my children have grown up seeing me write. All of them even the youngest know how to hold a pen.

Last night we had another story to go to and no babysitter. So the 3 came with me. I knew that I would have to come up with something for them to do so they didn’t run crazy. So Avril took notes, Two pictures and Mavis was our attention getter. When we arrived and I forgot to give Two the camera he was indignant and reminded me of his job. Apparently kids like having jobs–who knew. Here are some of Two’s best work.

Mavis catching attention.

Two self portrait

And one by Avril.

I wouldn’t say we are ludites by any means, but a few years ago we went to Best Buy to try and buy a video card for our computer pictured above. When asked how old our computer was Proeun said, “10 years.” There was complete silence and the clerk looked at us completely baffled and asked, “are you serious?” We had updated software every now and then and once a brother in law had rebuilt it for us but in essence it was the same computer Proeun bought several years before we got married. It was top of the line then and cost him around $1,500.

It’s not that we don’t like technology it’s just that it is so hard to keep up with. I am still rather perplexed when I get text messages from friends and family. Proeun refuses to read them. I have lost 2 cell phones since having children. I am normally very organized but when you are transporting so many people at one time something is bound to be lost. I prefer to keep my eyes on the children. In anycase when I purchase a cell phone as I had to do several months ago when I lost my 2nd phone I tell the clerk, “I have 3 children under 6, give me the cheapest phone you have.”

So yesterday when our 10 year old computer finally crashed it was scary and exciting to even consider buying a new computer. My secret is until this morning I have never purchased a computer. But when you apply the above philosophy to computers it makes picking one out pretty simple. My mom helped me go through the adds from the Sunday paper. We selected a model that seemed to have all we needed–we are not very demanding on technology. The price was just over a 1/3 of what Proeun paid for old Bessie. It seemed a fit, and in little over an hour I had it all set up and downloaded and ready to go, most importantly internet ready. And I only missed a day. Not bad for a ludite if I do say so myself. My computer space looks a little different now.

It still has the crayons though. There are just some things technology cannot improve on.

Sleep has been at a premium lately. Tempers have flared–mostly mine and it seemed like the week would never end. But yesterday we had a fine reprieve–a birthday party for neighbor and good friend Tovi. The kids had been looking forward to it all week, and honestly I was to. I was a wee bit worried when nap time rolled around on party day and it seemed to be more of the same old same old. But parties make really good incentive for naps and in the end everyone slept and was well rested when we arrived at Pump It Up! in Oakdale.

It was amazing. Pump It Up! features 2 rooms with 3 giant inflatable jumping arenas, obstacle courses and slides in each room. The kids played non-stop while I wished I had my camera. Luckily Angela, mom of birthday boy and fellow blogger (Blue Collar Daughter) came to the rescue with her camera.

Notice Two had a difficulty time staying still even at picture time. This is the only picture we were able to catch him in. The children spent 40 minutes in one room then moved to the next room for another 40 minutes. The look on Avril’s face when we went to the 2nd room in nearly indescribable.

Mavis on the other hand was content to play on regular old gym mats. Luckily there was also a toy car for the less adventurous–i.e. Mavis.

Then  at the end of the party there was pizza, cake and ice cream, and a king. Tovi even shared his crown with Mavis.

Sometimes when you are in the midst of a rough week and you think, “If I can just make it through today I will be fine,” you forget the importance of taking a moment and celebrating with friends and family life’s little blessings. Even if you can’t think of anything specific to celebrate at least burn off a little steam and have some fun. Thanks Angela for a great evening!

Way back when I was taking Early Childhood Family Education Classes with Two the instructor insisted that young children do not play together, they simply play side by side. But I am sure that Mavis plays with her older siblings. Today they took an ordinary roll of tape and were rolling it back and forth to each other. Mavis was monkey in the middle happily going back and forth.

A day or two ago Two and Avril were playing hide and seek. They would go stand against the wall and count. Mavis hadn’t joined yet but when the opportunity came up she went to stand face to the wall and count.

My favorite thing to see is Mavis scoot over on her butt to one of her siblings and stand up and give them a hug. We are a hugging family if you haven’t figured that out.

It was a major goal for me to raise children that love each other and enjoy spending time together.  I firmly believe that if you cannot get along with your family you have missed out on the greatest blessing in life. Afterall the Lord designed families to live together and even the solitary will be placed in families in the Lord’s ideal. 

From the time I discovered I was pregnant with my 2nd child I wanted Two to feel that this baby was another gift to our family from God and not going to replace him. 

Later when I was pregnant with my 3rd I decided to step up my efforts a notch. I was introduced to an amazing book–Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends. The book is actually written by  the 3 Mally siblings. This book opened my eyes to the roll our siblings play in our lives and that good relationships with siblings are possible especially when the members of the family see the highest duty of life as serving. With sorrow I realized as the oldest sibling all the opportunities I missed with my sister and the damage I had done to her life simply by always focusing on making myself happy. If I was generous it was only because I felt good about it. I didn’t realize the duty we as Christians have. When I apologized to her she said, “Oh you were just a kid,” But I replied, “even a child will be known by his actions.” 

I purposed to avoid silbing rivalry at all costs. Luckily I am blessed with children that enjoy each other. Rather then avoiding each other and choosing other playmates they love playing together. Of course there is the occasional scirmish but when I see them playing together laughing and joking it makes my heart sing. Now instead of having children upset about new siblings coming to take the attention from them I have a 5 year old boy who says, “Mommy I want you to have this many children,” While holding up both hands, “but you can have them one at a time,” and a 3 year old girl who says, “when the next baby comes can I hold it?”

Even our Brittany Hiro loves to play with us. Later in the day the request came for me to play with them as well. I am trying to spend more quality time playing with the children and avoiding electronic media so I knew I needed to jump in. It didn’t take long for Hiro to decide he wanted to play to. Two is the photographer in the below pictures.

As my selection for Christmas I decided to take advantage of the Christmas sale at Vision Forum. I didn’t have as much money as I hoped to this year but I decided to go ahead and get a couple films. Our family really likes movies, though the preference is definitely different. I grew up watching the classic films of the 30s, 40s, and 50s. I felt modern films did not really compare to those classics–especially the comedies. Some of my favorites are “Bringing up Baby,” “Midnight,” “The Major and the Minor,” and “Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House.”

Proeun grew up with comic books, video games and action films. One of the hardest things about having children is putting away your desires and doing what is best for the children. I find this is especially difficult in the realm of entertainment. Films that we feel comfortable with the children watching are few and far between. Ones that we actually enjoy as well are even harder to come by. It has gotten to the point where I feel that even kids movies need to be previewed before the children see them. So many contain ideas and concepts I am not comfortable with, including probably the most common–divorce. But then once we preview the movie it is not as fun to watch it again with the kids.

However I felt reasonably safe with films from Vision Forum. My selections were “Mysterious Islands,” “Pendragon” and “Pilgrim’s Progress.”

“Pendragon” is the story of the Christian church in England in 411 AD. It is a great story with lots of sword fighting and adventure. Luckily we have some hobby horses, wooden swords and a small round table top that has become a shield. It’s great that Two is using his imagination and burning off energy. However we are all living in fear of that wooden sword.

Proeun did not like “Pilgrim’s Progress.” Though the costumes for the trolls and devils were by no means extreme they were there. I know Two has seen scarier stuff, like “Lord of the Rings,” but this for some reason seems scarier to Proeun. Maybe because of the subject matter–Heaven and hell, I don’t know. But I thought it was a pretty good rendering of the story line.

We have yet to watch “Mysterious Islands” about the Galapagos Islands. We are still looking for good family films. My husband is the most picky. Now his favorite is epics. But one thing we agree is that most mainstream films do not fit our families need.

Yesterday I had an epiphany. Early in the day I was reading, Parenting by the Spirit by Sally Hohnberger. This is my 2nd time reading through this excellent and eye opening book. When I found out my best friend was pregnant I recommended this book as the only parenting book you really need to read. Now she has 3 more books in the series, but anyway I digress.

I was reading how our actions speak much louder then our words, no surprise there, but one quote particularly struck me, “Often our actions speak so loudly that our children cannot hear our words.” I read that, tucked it away in my memory and preceeded with the day. We were doing our usual rushing around getting ready to take Proeun to work and I was yelling at the kids of the 4th time to get their shoes on. In the process I forgot to tape something Two had asked me to. When he discovered I forgot in the car he started telling me, “I hate you.” I try not to let it get to me and always reply, “well I love you.”

When we got home another conflict ensued, this time surrounding nap time. I was trying to get all 3 children ready for bed. Mavis was fussing and obviously ready, Avril kept coming up with excuses for not getting in bed and Two was bouncing off the walls and seemed to be forever in the way. Finally I lost it and yelled at him telling him, “You are always in the way, lie down,” and I made sure he did. He flopped his head back on the pillow and said, “See I told you you hate me!”

That was the moment. While he had told me he hated me, his actions have always been full of love. However I was telling him I loved him but projecting frustration and to him hate. Even though I could justify my frustration, I had to acknowledge there really is not justification for not being able to control our emotions.

Since then I have been trying to be careful. At bedtime the same conflict was beginning. But instead I put my hands over my face and started counting. The kids stopped immediately. I was a homeschool conference last April and on of the presenters was saying that she puts on a particular hat when she really needs and break and that Abigail Adams used to put her apron over her head to signal to her children that they needed to stop immediately. I explained to the children what that means and hopefully it will work. I’ll keep you posted.

With the birth of Michelle Duggar’s 19th baby it seems like everyone has an opinion of big families. While I don’t currently have a mentor I do have to say that I love the Duggar’s show. I have read their book and eagerly look forward to any updates on their family. Since the birth of our 3rd child Proeun and I have chosen to let the Lord bless us as He will as far as number of children. Family and friends alike have had difficulty conceiving and we have seen the heart break this all too common problem can cause.

When we married we had our plans, but the Lord gently adjusted us and our plans. Now we eagerly await the return of fertility and the possibility of baby number four.

When I was young I was surrounded by families with 2 children. To have 3 was considered a large family. I met one family with 4 children and that seemed really unusual and in my thinking of the time irresponsible. Yes I admit that I was one that totally bought in to the idea that the only responsible thing to do was just replace yourself. My parents had two children and wholeheartedly believed it.

When I was in college a new idea was presented to me, it wasn’t necessarily the number of children but amount of resources consumed by said children that was the problem for our planet. Children in the U.S. consume vast amounts of resources compared to a relatively small amount among children in other parts of the world. We have developed the idea that certain things are required to raise our children well, a TV in their own bedroom, a video game system, new clothes every year, sports activities, summer camps and private schools. All of these cost vast amounts of money and resources. Many families are never home and spend large amounts of time driving from place to place. They are literally home to sleep and that is about this. It is a base of operations that the family goes out from, not a center of family activity.

It takes guts to go against the flow. It takes guts to tell your family and friends that you are no longer “planning” your family. Luckily my mother and father are supportive as well as Proeun’s parents. But the siblings all think we are crazy. My sister says I am addicted to babies. I suppose that is it but it is also much more. I can’t imagine putting my choices on TV and get all the back lash from that. On a recent episodeof the Duggar’s TV show  they took viewer questions. One young woman could barely keep the disdain from rising in her voice as she asked about resources the family consumed. The Duggars didn’t bat a lash they just calmly explained how they made choices every day to consume less resources then they normally would. The Bates family which has been on the show frequently lived until just recently in a 1000 square foot house. They live without debt. They “buy used and save the difference,” and they actually live in a home, work in a home and go to school in a home, this alone will save resources.

I say bravo to the large family. When I had my 3rd child I knew we were on the way. Our midwife jokingly said that I would need one more child to have a large family, we are hoping soon.

It will be a white Christmas! Last night and this morning the snow has steadily been falling. Proeun works as a bus driver so he has no choice but to go out and brave the conditions. Only one county from us has a no travel advisory due to blowing snow. I am often reminded of how privileged I feel to have my life work revolve around the home and keeping the home. This day is one of the days that I am more thankful then others. I only had one appointment scheduled today and was able to easily change it. So the children and I have been snug inside.

All I need is a bunch of Christmas CDs and the mood is set.

While Proeun is still in the rat race so to speak we have visions of life on a farm where snow will be a welcome treat and invitation to exciting outdoor activities rather then a signal for a stressful commute. We got a book from the library last time we were there called A Christmas Like Helen’s in which the author, Natalie Kinsey-Warnock recounts life on her family farm when her grandmother, Helen, was a girl. Kinsey-Warnack still lives on her family’s land in Vermont.

The book recounts things like sledding and skating on the pond behind her house and taking care of the animals on the farm. It talks about a black and white tomcat that Helen dressed up like a baby. We have a black and white tom named Austin that is Avril’s cat. He sleeps with her and follows her around, I don’t know if he could handle a dress but I am sure a baby carriage would be OK with him.

The book goes on to talk about making maple syrup in the spring for Christmas breakfast. About growing potatoes and carrots in the summer and picking apples in the fall for Christmas dinner. You must know the land and love the land and work the land all year for a Christmas dinner like this. You also must know how to keep Christmas in your heart all year, how to help each other and love each and know each other all year.

I desperately want land to know and love and pass on to my children and maybe my grandchild will write about the grandmother that chose a different way of life and dreamed to pass it on. Helen had no choice, I have a choice and I chose a return to her way.

Our children are learning all the time, whether we realize it or not. This last week I discovered a friend of mine is dealing with a huge personal tragedy. In addidition to a messy divorce she is now dealing with major health problems. She has had diabetes since she was child. She has also struggled with appetite. About 2 months ago she delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy–her 3rd child and 2nd delivery in a year and half. Her first child is 6 years old and lives with her father in Florida.

This wonderful mother has been abadoned by her husband. in the midst of it all she is holding on to Jesus and trying to raise her children for the Lord. She is working on a healthy diet, natural healthcare and nurturing her children physically and spiritually. Now she is loosing her eyesight. She cannot see at all out of one eye and cannot see very well out of the 2nd. She cannot even read.

This morning at worship I shared a simplified version of her story with the children and asked them to help me pray for her. Two said, “Jesus can come and spit and make mud and put it on her eyes and tell her to go wash it off and when she does she will see.” I didn’t even realize that he had learned that story. Obviously he had and it struck a cord with him. I wonder what else he remembers.