Proeun and I developed a tradition early on in our marriage. Being young, in love, broke and with young children we decided to keep our celebrations to the house. We both love to cook and so for Valentines we plan an extra special meal and cook together at home. This year we tried to involve the children more, letting them know that they are important to us even on Valentines day. So this year’s meal was lasagna, chocolate chip cookies and grape juice in wine glasses. The children helped with the cookies as we experimented trying to make heart shape cookies (some of them turned out).
Then we set the table extra special with a real tablecloth, candles and the nice plates.
The grape juice “wine” was a hit.
At church one of the ladies was telling the children’s story talking about how the men had better do something nice for their wives or otherwise the women would be upset. We are the odd ones who love spending time with our children. After dinner it was bathtime and a movie and then an early bed for the children. We were all together celebrating. My dad was always really good at making me feel loved. Every year he would buy me and my sister Valentine’s cards in addition to our mother. Some years we even had flowers. Knowing that you are loved and appreciated by your parents in such a gift and we hope to pass that on to our children.
It always pains me when I hear marriage counselors telling couples that they need something to share outside of the children. i can understand the reasoning that when the children leave the home the parents will not have anything to relate to if they are not working on their relationship all along. But for us we have a vision and a dream for our family. The children are an integral part of that, the strengthen us, educate us and challenge us to be better people. When they started families of their own I hope they will allow themselves to be changed by children. At least they will have a good foundation of love and appreciation.
Our children are an extension of our love for each other and by showing love to our children and nurturing them together we are engaging in probably the most important work together. Doing a great work together is wonderful way to strengthen a marriage.
Maybe I don’t know what I am talking.