Category Archives: Family Life

Sometimes just doing life together is the best way to learn. Here are ways to incorporate learning into your family life.

A Sick Kitty

It was quite the weekend–a teaching weekend to say the least. On Saturday morning our chicks arrived. Though I have done it couple times already it still makes me nervous handling those little chicks and dipping their little beaks in water and releasing them into the brooder. Exciting but scary.

Then we had a sick kitty to take to our vet. Remember here when I talked about getting two kittens for the children right after Mavis was born around 4 years ago. Those kittens became babies and were carried around the house just like them and became part of the family and the children’s best friend. Well one of them had been loosing weight and vitality. I hadn’t really noticed the gradual change since I see him every day. Then it got to the point that it was too noticeable to miss. And we were off the vet with a sick kitty right after being up early with chicks. I thought maybe he just had worms, but after some tests the vet thought he might have feline leukemia or liver problems, but we would have to wait an half hour to find out. So we did our weekly shopping and it was seriously the worst shopping trip of my life. The children kept asking about Austin and I am the type that imagines the worst so I am thinking we might have a dead kitty by the end of the day.

Of course when you have children it is not only your own grief you have to deal with but model healthy grief to teach your children how to deal with the sad things in life they will inevitably have to encounter. I was praying like crazy for the strength to deal with not only my own grief but the childrens.

After the tests came back it was the liver but not a chronic problem. So we are trying to flush him out with fluid and getting him eating and drinking and some energy. This means hourly feedings and some fluid injections. It was quite the weekend, but better then I expected. At one point Avril said to me, “Are you doing all these things for Austin because he is my cat and you know I love him?” Yes baby yes I am.

But also I want to model the care and service that will give you a fulfilling life. Nothing like saving a life over the weekend–even a cat’s life to make you realize that a life of service is not a drudgery but very rewarding. I hope that I can teach to children that taking care of the gifts God has given us is definitely the best use of our time. Austin is not out of the woods yet, but he is successfully eating and drinking through a syringe and I am hopefully that with continued assistance he will soon be his old perky self.

Family Circles

The weather around here is getting a bit warmer. While I of course am looking forward to the coming season I feel a bit sad to leave behind the short days of winter spent close to home and surrounded by family. Nothing like the winter to allow you to slow down and contemplate life a bit. As I said here this year I working on centering and bringing the important things of life into focus.

Part of that is a focus on homeschool. The children are getting older and their work is getting progressively more indepth. Then next year I will add a 3rd child to our homeschooling circle not to mention an infant and pre-schooler. So it is time to get organized and focused. One resource I find invaluable is Family Circles from Doorposts. Doorposts is a Christian resource for families. Family Circles however can be used by everyone. It is a great tool for focusing your attention on spending individualized time with each of your family members.

I started using this and discovered that I really don’t talk to my children. . . I mean really talk like know what they are thinking and dreaming about and taking the time to explore the feelings behind behaviors. Since starting using this and other resources from Doorposts I am happy to say the atmosphere is getting wonderful in our house. It is multi-fold, relationships and intellects growing and children glowing.

So I am hanging on to winter a bit longer, I think it will probably end up being my favorite time of the year. So I encourage you before the warmer weather, and busy traveling and growing season make sure you take some quiet time to sit and talk with your kids–read a great book, play some board games, make a special dinner together, and most importantly talk. And once you develop the habit keep on keeping on.

Blessings

Entitlement. It’s amazing how much this term is bandied around. Often it is used by those who have to describe the way those who have think those who have not think. It is meant as an insult and often said in a scoffing manner. But on this beautiful fall day 9 months after we moved into our dream home and life and with the season closing and a much needed rest coming I am contemplating–I am not entitled to any of it. A whole crazy scenario had to fall into place for me to be here.

Back when I was a Junior in college I was taking a class in a building I rarely went to. On the way I stopped at a bathroom I hardly ever used and saw an advertisment seeking a rape crisis counselor. The training was provided for free and through my county. I applied, was accepted and went through an intensive 40 hour training. Months later one of my fellow rape crisis counselors called me out of the blue to offer me a job. She knew I was a writer and the paper she worked for was hiring. Was I interested? Now 10 years later I am still writing for that publication and many months my income from here has meant our family survival.

Around the same time I was looking for a summer internship. I applied with Metro Transit and got an interview. But after attending decided it was too far to drive. They called to offer me the paid internship and I turned them down. Then they called me back to see if we could work something out. We made a part time arrangement that just happened to have me working the same hours as Proeun. 

Proeun for his part never wanted to be a bus driver. But when he was looking for work it seemed like the opportunity kept popping up. If he hadn’t taken the job, or if I hadn’t or if we worked different hours we never would have met. Now 12 years later he has a good income, good insurance, and His work allows me to be home with our children. 

Then there is the whole story about how we got into farming by running across information about the Minnesota Food Association while we were at the Living Green Expo, the only time we went. Then all the things that had to come together for us to find this perfect place and get financing and set up the farm. 

 Whether you chose to believe it was divine blessings (as I do) or fate that orders our path in actuallity none of us our entitled to anything. Right now I am feeling really blessed. I am incredibly aware of the fact that I have so so much to be thankful for and we are in a very good place. I wish more people, especially those in power would be aware of the fact that if they have much they have been given much and should therefore forgive much. Cut people a little slack.

I just read a series of books that take place in Ireland around the time of the potato famine. I discovered that there really was no wide spread famine in the land. Only the potatoes were affected. But that is what the poor people ate. Those in power, the wealthy, often English and Absentee landlords, could have chosen to ease the people’s suffering by allowing them to eat some of the grain they grew rather then exporting it for top dollar to England. Instead they chose to look at it as an act of God passing judgement on the Irish. When the poor couldn’t pay the rent whole towns would be sacked by gangs of “destructives” which forced already starving families to the street. Over 1 million people died of starvation and 1.3 million emigrated to America before the crisis was over. Ireland has never recovered its pre “famine” population.

The belief that “those people are just different from me or us” is what allowed this to happen and really any other humanitarian crisis around the world results from a similar line of thinking. But really none of us deserve anything and all of us in the end are the same. The haves often deserve less then the have nots. I chose instead to focus on my blessings and know that I deserve none of it, which makes the blessings all the more sweet.

The Center of Hospitality

Traditionally the home was the center of industry and productivity. When you think about it so much of our culture developed in the home. I am a total home body so I really dig the home centered lifestyle. Just to give you an idea Valentine’s day was celebrated at home with homemade eggrolls, sparkling Lingon berry juice and movies.

In addition to industry and productivity the home was also the center of hospitality. I have lately been trying to work on this. When we moved into our current home nearly 7 years ago we had visions of the dinner parties and gathering we would throw at our house, but other then children’s birthday parties we haven’t really followed through with the dream.

Now that the children are older it is so much fun to include them and so for a couple months now we have been preparing for our first hospitality event.

We invited several of the older ladies (Heather you are not included in that title) over to the house for “baby time” and a Valentine’s tea.

The morning of I was starting to freak out at every little mess and wondering if we would be ready and how it would go but it went swimmingly. Kind of like that first scratch on a new car the first is done and I am planning other events.

We had a great time visiting and getting to know each other. One lady had done foster care for 12 years taking new born babies 2 at a time for 3-6 weeks until they could be placed in more permanent homes. Talk about challenging and rewarding work! One lady worked for 20 years at a nursing home and another is learning a new art form. Of course there was plenty of cuddling and baby holding and so much fun.

The girls really really enjoyed the tea and visiting–for most of the evening. Two enjoyed watching TV and retreating to his room.

Today the hospitality it of a more canine variety. This is Sammy, my sister’s dog, being investigated by Carrie our cat. Beth was having some routine maintenence done on her apartment today and Sammy needed a place to stay while Beth and her husband were at work and school. We are very happy to be able to spend the day with Sammy. The children love having him around and Hiro keeps trying to get Sammy to play with him.

Yes being home has so many benefits and I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be home most days. When we go for a walk in our neighborhood it seems like there are an awful lot of lonely houses, but the ones people live in are alive.

What ways do you like living at home?

Where have all the babies gone?

Some women are addicted to romance novels. I on the other hand am addicted to stories of growing up on a farm with a bunch of children running around. Call them what you will if it has a farm, a warm house and a bunch of children I love it.

Yesterday I went to the memorial service for a wonderful “pillar” of our church. She and her husband were just days away from their 70th wedding anniversary. She came from a large German family and grew up on a farm in South Dakota. Yes her family had 11 children. Her husband’s family 9 but they chose to only have 2 children. Their children each had 2 giving this wonderful couple 4 grand children and at the time of her passing 5 great-grandchildren.

About 70 people attended the service, her funeral had been a month earlier in another state. My mother pointed out other members of “pillar” families I didn’t know. I enjoyed the stories of this wonderful lady growing up, there really weren’t enough for me. As a wife she was well educated, helped run her husband’s businesses and loved showing hospitality.

I had left my older children at home with Proeun, bringing only Effie with me. She was one of 2 babies and 3 children at the service. I couldn’t help but imagine, what it this lady had had 9 children and her children 9 children, how many children would be present then? It certainly wouldn’t have been as reverent a service, but at least in my mind it would still have been joyful.

As a side note I am almost done preparing my house for hospitality. I have already invited a wonderful older lady over for “baby time.” Maybe not everyone loves having babies like I do, but they do bring a certain joy to any gathering. So I ask again, where have all the babies gone? Sorry for my ramblings, i was just contemplating a lot last night.

New Year Bug–Remedy Chicken Sour Soup

The new year has brought all sorts of bugs into our house. Luckily not the biting kind but the knock you on your bum so you can rest kind.

Just an example. Proeun’s short hours at home have been on the futon converted to a bed so he can be around where the action is. Actually our futon has been a bed since I began bedrest last September. Quite useful this convertable furniture.

It all be began New Year’s Eve day. We woke with runny noses and a cough and here we are still. Today mama is getting strict with the no sharing glasses and frequent handwashing. And while my loved ones were all sprawled out recuperating I was making this

Chicken sour soup–a family favorite eaten once a week in our house. You make a broth of plenty of water a good chuck of lemongrass (bruised and knotted), about 3 good sized slices of ginger, 3 cloves garlic and 6 lime leaves. Boil for about 15 minutes until fragrant. Add chicken (I am using 2 leg quarters) a tsp salt, 1/4 tsp tumeric and a broth cube. Boil until chicken is tender. Add one TBSP sweetener and adjust salt to taste. Chop liberal amounts of green onion and cilantro to add at the last minute. Large chunks of green tomato are wonderful in it. I am using frozen grape tomatoes left over from last year’s harvest. Next year I will freeze some green. Serve with a wedge of lemon and plate of jasmine rice. I like to get a scoop of rice in a deep spoon and dip it in the broth.

Hope you are holding up well.

Toothfairy’s first visit

Late last night after everyone was in bed Two stayed awake working his very first loose tooth. When he got it stuck in an uncomfortable position he asked for help. Of course his dad was quick to help with a bit of dental floss wrapped around the tooth. I really wish I had gotten up to videotape it. But instead I stayed in bed laughing to myself.

It went something like this with foot stomping, “No I am going to die!”
“You won’t die it will be quick. Let me see.”

Finally after some convincing Two stood bracing for the pull. Proeun said, “I didn’t count because I didn’t want him to know when I was going to do it.” It was very loose because when Proeun pulled it it went flying into the Christmas tree. Then a mad hunt ensued to find it and ensure the Toothfairy really would stop at our house last night. Luckily they found it and she did.

She varied from custom a bit accepting the tooth from a cup by Two’s head and leaving quarters for the Two’s piggy.

Before falling asleep Two was very worried his sister Avril might try to stay up and see the Toothfairy, “please just go to sleep Avril, otherwise she won’t come.” I laughed and told him just to worry about falling asleep himself.

Sleeping wasn’t a problem for Effie.

Snowed In!

This is what our neighborhood looked like Saturday morning. Yes we were hit by that big snowstorm. Luckily we were all home with no where we absolutely needed to go. Somewhere between the tree and the houses is supposed to be a road. By the time the storm was finished early Sunday morning we had an estimated 16 inches in our neck of the woods. A neighboring town had over 20. This is on top of the 4-6 inches already on the ground and as my mother pointed out winter hasn’t officially started yet!

Luckily we had warning and had put a shovel on the porch. This is also Saturday morning and there is a step down onto the porch. I had already gone out once to feed the chickens (luckily our coop is literally right outside our backdoor, not always good in the summer but a Godsend now) and this is what Proeun had to contend with about 1:00.

It takes a good half hour to get everyone dressed, the car warmed and everyone out the door and safely stowed away these days. Thank goodness for a relaxing weekend snowed in. We watched movies, set up the Christmas tree, read stories and ran around the house. I even got to read some grown up books, do more indepth planning for our homeschool, work on a doll for Effie’s first Christmas gift and start knitting a pair of socks for Avril. She loves knowing that mommy is making something for her. I will update more as the sock project continues.

Funny things kids say: Stupendous

As any one who spends time with children knows, “kids say the funniest things.” We had a doozy this week. Proeun doesn’t like the children to say, “stupid” as in “that’s stupid,” “you’re stupid,” etc. Two was caught in the act this week. When Proeun reprimanded him he said quick as a wink, “Stupendous was what I was going to say.” How do you argue with that?

Back to Work

It has been a long time since we have loaded our four children into our one car to take Proeun to work. Last night I realized that we hadn’t really prepared them for the return of a “normal” schedule so I said simply, “tomorrow Bpa (Cambodian for Daddy) is going back to work.” The older children accepted it just fine in the way us older people realize we often have to resign ourselves to situations we don’t like. But Mavis would have none of it and refused. But it couldn’t be helped.

Actually even though Proeun says he doesn’t feel ready to go back we both think a return to a more normal schedule is just what our family needs. I actually woke up today feeling quite good. I know what is expected of me, and what I need to accomplish before the end of the day, like eat something, and get a nap in. That’s my goal for the day and make a few appointments for later in the week. Oh and blog and wrap up some Hmong Times stories from this weekend, wash the sheets. Normal stuff like that feels so good right now.

I was talking with our midwife yesterday about just how difficult it is to wrap my mind around the fact that Christmas is almost here. I still feel stuck somewhere back in mid-September or early October mentally–when I expected Effie to come. The weather was warm, there were a ton of projects and fun things to do outside and Christmas season seemed so far away. Mentally I am in a time wrap. I need more time process. But I think getting into a normal routine will help immensely. The children want the Christmas tree and Christmas cookies–maybe next weekend.

For the most part my physical recovery is going well in this postpartum period. I am still dragging from the low hemoglobin, but that should get better and finally nursing is going a bit better. I will share the story soon.