Last night, March 25th, I went to the open house of St. Paul’s first free standing birth center. Way back when I was looking for birth options with my 2nd child (after a horrible hospital experience with me first) having a birth center available would have been great. However at that time there were no centers in Minnesota and the nearest one was Menomonie, Wi about an hour and a half from our house. Now there is one right on Grand Ave.

It has a very in home feel. I have always removed my shoes in our home and most homes I visit, unless directed to leave them on by the people I am visiting.

The waiting area even takes into account the needs of the youngest family members showing that the center is really for families.

I talked with Kate Saumweber, midwifery assistant, she said that the center is really for families. The Center services families interested in homebirth as well as a center birth. “The center is often for families looking for an alternative to hospital birth but not ready for a homebirth,” Kate said, “once a woman has had a homebirth she is normally comfortable with that and doesn’t want to get in the car once she starts labor.”

I mentioned the amazing birth rooms (one pictured above), Kate laughingly replied that some woman do like to take little “vacations” at birth time to the rooms.

I have to admit when I saw the rooms I thought, “maybe I should consider this.” I mean look at this tub.

I guess I do fall into the category though of comfortable with homebirths–I have had 2 and am planning my 3rd.

I asked Kate how she got interested in being a midwife, she said, “I was going to school for music. I had no idea that midwives were a possibility. I thought they were just from the Bible. Once I found out about it I knew this was what I wanted to do.” Kate has attended around 100 births in the Twin Cities. Amy Johnson-Grass, main midwife, has attended over 350 births in the Twin Cities and practiced in Seattle for several years before coming here.

I talked with Catherine Burns, a doula and member for the Childbirth Collective. I asked if the Collective was excited about the birth center, “we are really really excited. We want famlies to have the best birth experience possible.” Burns added that the people who run the Menomonie Birth Center will open a 2nd one in St. Louis Park sometime this spring and that Abbott Northwestern Hospital plans to open one called, “My OB Home” across the street from the hospital.

In addition to a birth center also houses a yoga center, Naturally Aligned Family Chiropractic Care with Amber Moravec and Amy Johnson-Grass also practices natureopathic medicine. If you are unfamiliar with natureopathic medicine (as I am) here is a description from their website, “Naturopathic Medicine is not just the use of natural therapies; it is the art and science of individualized health care, going beyond superficial symptoms, and getting to the root cause of the illness or disease. Naturopathic physicians are primary care and specialty physicians who address the underlying cause of disease through effective, individualized natural therapies that integrate the healing powers of body, mind and spirit.”

Here’s a picture of the kid’s bed. For more information about the center go to Health Foundations.

We are a family of 5 living on one income, with the expenses of starting a new business and trying to save money to buy a farm. We watch our money very closely. One thing we learned early on is that food is an easy place to loose control of your budget and also a little less easier place to cut spending. For months and months we have had a very tight food budget. We try to gorw as much of our food as possible, and preserve it for when fresh isn’t available. We buy grains, dried food, and pasta in bulk once a month from Country Life Natural Foods. We try to grocery shop no more then once a week and occasionally stretch it as far as every 2 weeks.

Then I got pregnant and everything changed. Not only am I more aware of nutrition and the needs of a growing baby (I admit I had gotten lazy in my own nutrition) but I just feel like I am eating much more. I have been trying to stay in budget, but have the complication of a budding foodie in my household. Whenever we get any extra money Avril wants to go grocery shopping, even when her grandparents gave her a monetary gift her first thought was going grocery shopping.

This week I went grocery shopping, a series of events meant that I was actually able to go by myself. I went to Trader Joe’s one of my favorite spots (just wish they had a few more interesting veggies like collards and Japanese eggplant). Honestly I went a little crazy. In addition to thinking how good everything would taste I thought about what my children would like and what could be prepared simply while I am still battling morning sickness. I am very happy with the food, but not its effects on the budget.

I told Proeun, “If we want to stay on budget don’t send a hungry, pregnant woman to the grocery store.” I asked Proeun if he would do the grocery shopping knowing that this had been his duty when living with his family before our marriage and trusting that he would make wise decisions. Still I honestly felt like I would be adding another burden to his already cramped schedule. Then yesterday he said to me, “So when do I get to go grocery shopping?” Obviously it is not the burden I thought and will hopefully be a good change for everyone.

After nearly a year and a half of hype the 2010 Census arrived at our house today. This is my first census with a family and house of my own. Last time around my parents were one of the “lucky” ones who received the long form–this has been done away with this time around.

The Census gave me an opportunity to review my past 10 years. Over the past 10 years things have changed a lot. Not only have I become a wife and mother but I have become intimately aware of the complexities of race in Minnesota and our nation. For instance minority communities really need to be counted but often resist for fear of unscrupulous government tactics. Many of these ideas come from their countries of origin where the government was not an entity to be trusted.

For the past year and a half I have been working in the minority press to try and get the word out. Now that the Census is finally here I wonder if all our efforts will pan out.

Even for mainstream Americans filling out the Census ensures representation in government. Our House of Representatives is based on population and my state is not the only one who risks loosing a seat.

The slogan for the Census is “10 questions, 10 minutes” for me it took less then that even with 5 people in our household. I urge everyone to fill it out and if possible think back 10 years ago and what has changed.

I never considered myself a storyteller. A writer perhaps but certainly not someone who can entertain on a face to face basis without the aid of a book or at least a pen and pencil. See I was convinced I had no imagination I suppose it all started when I began to read stories to the children. I would do my best to make my reading of them interesting but if I was really tired I would just read it straight through and they didn’t seem to care.

However since coming back from the conference and trying to get caught up on the house work, dealing with sick children and the extra laundry they entail, having slight morning sickness and all the symptoms of being in the first trimester of pregnancy I haven’t been reading as much as I would like to the children.

Yesterday we went to take Proeun to work. Mavis had fallen asleep before we left and Avril had fallen asleep in the car. Avril stayed asleep as I carried her inside. Mavis woke up slightly and my first priority was to get her back to sleep. We usually do nap time right after dropping off Proeun so it wasn’t too out of the ordinary for Two but as a stalling tactic he requested a story. However I had one child asleep and another one I was trying to get back to sleep and I didn’t want to turn on the light and go get a book so I sighed and said “what if I tell you a story?”

I was actually surprised when he said yes. I was going to go with a old family story but he wanted one about dragons. So I had to pull deep on this one. I was even more surprised when the story seemed to just keep flowing and flowing right out of me. I left him wanting more.

In the evening when we went to pick up Proeun there were requests for more stories and more at bedtime and more when we woke up. He’ll say things like, “just one more story, please I’ll do whatever you ask.” Now I just have to keep coming up with them.

It may not seem like much but in our quest for simplicity knowing that I have what it takes to entertain my children should the need arise is a powerful feeling. It is so easy to be dependent on books, games, TV and such to entertain our children. As adults we slowly deny our imagination over time until we feel that we don’t have it. Come up with a story off the top of my head?–you’ve got to be kidding.

Then you give your imagination a little wiggle room out of desperation and exhaustion and find out that imaginations are still a powerful thing.

After a week or so of ignoring the box suddenly interest reemerged this week. We have been turning the TV off early to have a quiet evening and all of a sudden the imaginations of the kids are coming out.

By now the box is pretty beat up. The cats have been using it while the children were ignoring it. Somehow the children got the idea to open up the back of the box not understanding that this would cause the box to fold flat. So I came up with the idea to prop it up with chairs.

A 2nd box came out of the basement. They wanted to open this as well. We had been reading Danny Meadow Mouse By Thornton Burgess. Now we had 2 run ways a a little den all under our kitchen table.

At night the cats get their box back.

The last 2 days we have had playdates. Both families have 6 children. One mother and I were chatting about the reactions she gets when she goes out in public. With our 4th baby now on the way I wasn’t really sure what to expect. She said, “oh you will get negative comments, but also positive.”

I shared with her about a recent nature documentary I had seen on PBS. It was the story of wolves in Yellowstone. Particularly two packs. Each pack had their own territory: until Pack 2 forcibly drove out Pack 1. Pack 1 moved to the far reaches of Yellowstone where food was harder to come by, however it ended up being a blessing for them. Pack 2 had problems in the new territory now forced to maintain control over twice the area.

To make matters worse their pups started dying do to an unknown virus. Of the 15 pups born that year only 3 survived. The 2nd year the problems continued. A third pack entered the picture. They killed one of Pack 2’s males and another disappeared. Then one day when Pack 2 was out hunting Pack 3 camped themselves outside of Pack 2’s den. Pack 2 made no effort to try to reclaim the den and all the pups in the den died. No pups at all the 2nd year. The documentary went on to say that without pups to unit the group they floundered and lost focus. They became weak.

Pack 1 was sheltered from the virus in their remote location. And while in exile 15 pups were born to just 2 females. The pack nurtured these pups, spending all their energy on them. The next year when the pups were grown they were a large and thriving pack and were able to take back their original territory from Pack 2 who was now fragmented and weak.

I read a great a quote in Parenting Your Child by the Spirit, By Sally Hohnberger, “Parenting is truly giving ourselves to our children, as completely as the wheat plant gives its life for the next generation. Parenting must consume our best time and energies.” I would go so far as to say without the next generation we like the wolf pack are a lost, fragmented and weak people.

While at the Farming Conference on Friday Avril leaned up against me and then said, “I don’t want to crush the baby.”

“What baby?” I said.

“The baby in your tummy.”

“What do you mean the baby in my tummy.” At this point I was having symptoms but an early pregnancy test came back negative so I fully expected to receive confirmation that I was not pregnant any day.

“I know you’re pregnant” she said with her confident side look.

I wasn’t so sure. After our 3rd child which was an unexpected surprise our whole philosophy of family planning changed. After seeing the amazing little being that we would have missed out on if we had our way we decided that there may be more children that are supposed to come into this world through us. We decided to allow the Lord to bless us as He will.

So while it was certainly possible we were pregnant and we would like to be pregnant I didn’t think I was. But on Sunday we decided to take one more test (our 3rd) and it came back positive. Avril was right! She is now predicting that it is a boy and Two is really hoping she is right.

My husband’s brother and his wife are also expecting a new addition. This one is particularly exciting for the family because due to medical problems after their 2nd child she was advised not to have any more children. They took precautions which they reversed last October, without telling any of us in case it didn’t work. They are now overjoyed to have this opportunity again. And the cousins will be very close in age. She is 8 weeks and I am 5 weeks.

When we found out about the new cousin Two joyfully told his dad, “I have a new friend–Romeo’s little brother or sister. That’s great news!” When he found out he was going to have a new addition to his own family he told his grandpa, “My little brother is coming.” Apparently he is not leaving room for the possibiltiy of another sister.

By the end of this year my in-laws will have a grand total of 11 grandchildren. Luckily our addition  will come after the growing season. We couldn’t have planned it better.

Proeun and I developed a tradition early on in our marriage. Being young, in love, broke and with young children we decided to keep our celebrations to the house. We both love to cook and so for Valentines we plan an extra special meal and cook together at home. This year we tried to involve the children more, letting them know that they are important to us even on Valentines day. So this year’s meal was lasagna, chocolate chip cookies and grape juice in wine glasses. The children helped with the cookies as we experimented trying to make heart shape cookies (some of them turned out).

Then we set the table extra special with a real tablecloth, candles and the nice plates.

The grape juice “wine” was a hit.

At church one of the ladies was telling the children’s story talking about how the men had better do something nice for their wives or otherwise the women would be upset. We are the odd ones who love spending time with our children. After dinner it was bathtime and a movie and then an early bed for the children. We were all together celebrating. My dad was always really good at making me feel loved. Every year he would buy me and my sister Valentine’s cards in addition to our mother. Some years we even had flowers. Knowing that you are loved and appreciated by your parents in such a gift and we hope to pass that on to our children.

It always pains me when I hear marriage counselors telling couples that they need something to share outside of the children. i can understand the reasoning that when the children leave the home the parents will not have anything to relate to if they are not working on their relationship all along. But for us we have a vision and a dream for our family. The children are an integral part of that, the strengthen us, educate us and challenge us to be better people. When they started families of their own I hope they will allow themselves to be changed by children.  At least they will have a good foundation of love and appreciation.

Our children are an extension of our love for each other and by showing love to our children and nurturing them together we are engaging in probably the most important work together. Doing a great work together is wonderful way to strengthen a marriage.

Maybe I don’t know what I am talking.

Getting three children ready to go outside during the winter is not an easy task. It normally goes something like this, you start with one, get them dressed, catch the 2nd one, get them dressed then while you are catching child number 3 the first 2 are taking their coats off. I guess my children are hot blooded because Two tends to take off coat and shoes as soon as he gets in the car or wherever our destination is.

While I had good intentions to go outdoors more this winter it hasn’t happened, mainly for the above reason. But also because until just recently Mavis who will be 17 months old this month has been scooting on her butt and not walking. Now she is a proud walker. So yesterday with temps in the mid- 20s and a new layer of beautiful snow on the ground and a driveway to be shoveled I decided maybe it would be a good time to venture into the outdoors.

We had bought 2 children’s shovels at Fleet Farm this year but they hadn’t seen much action. However Two loves working with his father so when Proeun said he was going outside to shovel Two quickly asked to go too and then Avril. So we made a family outing of it.

So while Proeun snow blowed the driveway we worked on the sidewalk and front steps.

The concept was a little much for Avril who was shoveling snow from the snowbank on one side of the sidewalk to the other. But heh she felt helpful.

Even Mavis was enjoying being outside and the snow.

There was even time of a little fun, then it was inside for a hot bath and hot cocoa. Days like today I can hardly wait to live in the country and be tramping through the woods.

Over one week after our computer crashed the simple cardboard box it came in continues to be a big hit. While I am still trying to learn all the ins and out of updated technology the children prefer to enjoy one the simplest toys around. This phenomena is far from new. However for parents who worry that their children are becoming too dependent on electronic media seeing the pleasure of a box can really relieve a lot of worries.

Here all three of them get into the act. The box alternated between a boat, car and plane. Here it is a place, notice the “wings” folded up on the side. Even baby Mavis wanted to come along for the ride.

Here we have a good old fashioned jungle gym, another favorite was trying it upside down and just practicing getting on top of it for Mavis.

Avril outside her little closet. The only problem with this one was the older children liked being closed inside and Mavis definitely did not.

Even the cat Carrie gets in one it. Yes the box is still in our living room. Sure it makes it look a little cluttered but it does wonders for me pysche.